Take a Right

Relying on Brute Force, Revenge-spree Remake Lacks Substance.

 By Morgan P Salvo
From the remnants of what was one of the most offensive, sadistic, and warped revenge flicks of the 70s, the slick grimy remake of The Last House on the Left makes its way into the theatres. The 2009 version gives us a gruesome yet watered down version, rendering it completely unoriginal in every way.
Wes Craven directed the 1972 original with a creepy, seedy home movie effect that made us wonder if all the horrid things happening were actually real. Craven (credited as producer here) based his tale on Ingrid Bergman’s Virgin Spring (a movie of intellect and daring). Wes took Bergman’s slow moving psychological dilemma to opposite extremes putting all the stomach-churning cards on the table. The result was one of the top drive-in classics: not only did you gasp in disbelief at the extent of the sadism of rape and murder; you shuddered at the vile techniques of revenge.
This new Last House has the same basic plot: After kidnapping and brutally assaulting two young women (Sarah Paxton/ Martha MacIsaac), a gang led by a prison escapee Krug (Garet Dillahunt) unknowingly finds refuge at a vacation home belonging the parents of one of the victims -- a mother (Monica Potter) and father (Tony Goldwyn) who devise an increasingly gruesome series of revenge tactics.
72’s version had the girls going out to see their favorite band, Bloodlust, falling into the wrong hands of a Manson-like group of psychos while trying to score pot. This ’09 version has two bored girls invited to smoke pot with a guy who’s lonely, interrupted the group of psychos, the leader being Krug( his Dad).
Cut to Krug and clan terrorizing the girls, resulting in a brutal murder and horrific rape. Leaving the girls for dead, the murderers flee, turning up at the last house on the left - meeting with the aforementioned parents of the girl just raped and shot. All hell breaks loose when daughter returns, hanging on to dear life. The ’72 version had devious game playing and discussion between the parents as to the ramifications of killing these monsters, in the redux the parents do not communicate with each other, they just stare blankly and go on a brutal killing spree of their own.

With virtually no development, characters are just defined from their inception and continue on their path. Devoid of any humor, House relies only on heavy gunplay and grisly deaths via appliances. And with a tool shed full of lethal weapons, Goldwyn wields a fire poker. Go figure. No one has any decent dialogue as the script could easily be used as toilet paper to wipe up the blood that spews in gallons.
For horror movie fans, there is a power outage, rain, darkness, creeping around the last house wondering what’s around the next corner, but all that still leaves us wanting more. Any suspense dried up like the first victim’s blood. The only intrigue in this movie becomes who’s next and how long is it gong to take.
One cannot talk about the original House without mentioning the uncanny presence of one David Hess as the original Krug. Acting as if in a Cassavettes movie he carried the film in such a disturbing, believable way you’d swear Craven yanked him off the street, fresh out of prison. Dilahunt (No Country for Old Men, Deadwood) is a compelling actor but he can’t even muster up a decent persona for Krug to convey through this horrid, muddled script.
Directing his first American film, Dennis Iliadis gives House an eerie cinematic look but never achieves a solid grasp as to why any of this is happening. All of the actor’s motives become interchangeable. Krug and company seem to do bad things for no reason. The parents follow suit with revenge motivation. The only thing about this movie that I liked was the last death scene, but then poof, it was over and the credits rolled.
Craven has said he made his movie in ’72 as an extreme comment on the obscenity of Vietnam. In 2009 the statement is merely “watch us kill”. The ’72 version was all about desensitization to violence, leaving you feeling shaken and desolated. The ’09 version is all about the glorification of gory violence. Unless you want to take a ride on the abuse/torture/sadistic band wagon sans any humor or intelligence, this is the last movie you should choose.

The Last House on the Left
Starring: Tony Goldwyn, Monica Potter, Garret Dillahunt, Martha MacIsaac, Sara Paxton,Aaron Paul
Directed by Dennis Iliadis
 One and half star