Slice and Dice

Rampaging Claw-man takes it to the lower level
By
Morgan P Salvo


Wolverine is predisposed to make a ton of money thanks to the marketing blitz ($87 million thus far), but it does not live up to expectations. Most of it feels like a big waste of cinema. It is all about the sequels and prequels. As a result it doesn’t stand alone - it goes in too many directions, stagnates into a world between camp and high drama, and leaves too many characters alive for any sense of closure. Compelling flicks like Watchmen and the first X-Men raised the bar, and Wolverine languishes somewhere way below.
The story begins in 1845 with two brothers with some sort of “gift”, who bond via patricide and roam through a montage of wars—American Civil War, WWI & II and Viet Nam. Never aging past 30 or so, it becomes apparent however that these brothers have very dissimilar attitudes. Logan aka “Wolverine” (Hugh Jackman) has a conscience whereas Victor aka “Sabretooth” (Liev Shriber) regales in flaring tempers, death and destruction. Their superhuman abilities are never explained. Wolverine has bones that grow out between his knuckles like swords, uncanny superhuman strength, has the ability to jump really high and ingest bullets into his system while his wounds heal. Ditto for Sabretooth except that he just grows fingernails. Maybe that’s why he’s mad all the time. After surviving execution in Nam, Colonel Stryker (Danny Huston) helps them start a new life in a rag tag mercenary band of testosterone driven thugs.
When their missions become too sadistic Wolverine decides to quit the team. Turning his back on the bloodshed he walks off into the woods. Of course “no one leaves the team” and the evil Colonel has other plans. Thus begins phase two of the saga wherein the brothers are pitted against each other. Wolverine is then duped with a revenge motive into becoming a science project to be filled with “adamantium” (strongest alloy in the world) and “more pain than he’ll ever endure” thus becoming an indestructible force to be reckoned with. Stryker melodramatically informs Logan, “First we destroy you then make you indestructible.” This backfires of course, and they spend the rest of the movie trying to destroy him.
Director Gavin Hood (known for his South African drama Tsotsi) seems estranged from the action for this CGI punch-fest extravaganza. It seems like Hood just got to push buttons. It’s a very disjointed flick with a similar feel of John Woo’s helming of Mission Impossible 2: a great foreign director seemingly boxed in by influential American producers. Whereas Tsotsi was loaded with empathy and humanity, Wolverine creates a vacuum—there’s an attempt at something deeper but it’s swallowed whole by the plot inconsistencies and special effects. Some of the more high ended action scenes seem to fall short or even slow down. Sure it’s explosively loud, boasting its big production values, yet seems empty, lacking imagination. Not to mention that with as much stabbing, slashing, poking, gouging and shooting as there is that you’d think you would see some blood...
The actors clearly enjoyed embodying their mutant characters. Jackman does his brooding best to seethe, holler and flex and you can pretty much relate to his pain. After his Oscar stint I couldn’t help but be amazed at the range of this guy and the weird roles he plays. Danny Huston is over used, spending too much time on the villainous scientist. The dichotomy of Huston’s character just never pans out - with his one minute nice guy then evil the next, his portrayal just sort of lays in limbo. Shriber’s a big HAM, reprising his evil wisecracking tone in Phantoms. Face it, constant rage and sarcasm gets old quick. Introducing the character of Gambit, Taylor Kitsch playfully adds some life to the proceedings by flicking cards at people sending them through walls. But Wolverine’s chick Kayla Silverfox (Lynn Collins) neither adds nor distracts with her pretty eyes making people do her bidding by her touchy feely powers
There’s John Woo-esque gun play, a ridiculous nod to Easy Rider, a supremely lame fight scene with a guy who resembled “Fat Bastard” from Austin Powers, a mutant experimental camp, a spinning decapitated Cyclops head chewing up Three Mile Island and a “Free the Mutants” scene that should make PETA proud.
As the first of the X-Men Origins movies, Wolverine becomes an exercise in how many mutants can be introduced and never explained, too open ended and connected to sequels and predecessors. I have a feeling the X-Men Origins movies are going to be around for a long time, judging by the sea of mutants. I don’t know if I’m going to live long enough to see the end of this franchise, or if I’ll care by the time I’m 90.

X-men Origins: Wolverine
Starring Hugh Jackman, Liev Shriber, Danny Huston
Directed by: Gavin Hood
 2 stars