Dueling Werewolves

Taking Liberties with Lycanthropy
Or
Like Father like Son
Oedipal twist tears the heart out of The Wolfman
by Morgan P Salvo

The Wolfman looked like it might be okay, beginning with a lone figure prowling the moors at night, segueing into the first beastly attack. But alas The Wolfman is far from okay. Resurrecting a horror icon should have some pizzazz. The only thing this Wolfman has down is the lavish sets depicting the 1891 Gothic atmosphere and Victorian period in which it takes place.
The plot revives the classic lycanthropic tale of a man who experiences an unsettling transformation after being attacked by a rampaging werewolf. Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro) returns to his family estate to investigate his brother’s death, deal with his estranged father (Anthony Hopkins) and contend with a horrifying family legacy. Playing out like any Wolfman movie, the full moon looms and evil transformation is imminent. But this one made me miss even the abysmal Wolf with Jack Nicholson, not to mention Lon Chaney Jr’s sensitive portrayal in George Waggner's 1941 film of the same name.
From a check list of the things wrong it seems blame can be cast upon the delays in production: too much re-editing, re-shooting, re-writing, and rescheduling. Mark Romanek - who showed promise with One Hour Photo, left the project and director Joe Johnston (Jurassic Park 3, Honey I Shrunk the Kids) took the reigns.
The mixed bag of celluloid includes horror tricks like flashbacks, visions and premonitions, standard jolt scare tactics, time-lapse photography, double exposure, an implausible love story, overbearing gloom and doom horns or strings, Transylvania-type setting with gypsies, wild rampage with gore a-plenty, and an unexplained Grudge-like demon child. Alongside the raving lunatic theory, there’s even a short-lived surreal and psychedelic asylum interlude. The werewolf attacks consist of abrupt cuts to the snarling face of the beast, a deafening roar, slashing swipes by bloody claws and yes, eventually howling at the moon
Humorous yet painful, the cliché ridden dialogue feels like lines from other movies about love, horror and action put on pieces of paper and plucked out of a hat. “God help us”, “Ah, the prodigal son returns”. One decent quotable quote though: “The past is a wilderness of horrors.” Not a bad mantra.

The acting just felt awkward. Del Toro never seems remorseful. Giving way to brooding he misses the opportunity to exhibit Lon Chaney-like sadness and awareness of his dismal plight. Lawrence’s need for revenge overshadows his ability to convey the passion of humanity. Hopkins tries to swallow the screen whole with his ham-fisted combo of Hannibal Lecter and Col.Ludlow from Legends of the Fall. Gwen (Emily Blunt) ), the widow of the deceased brother, is either pensive or scared helping make this movie all the more ludicrous, though Hugo Weaving as the Scotland Yard inspector breathes some humor and life into the shenanigans

With special effects that have not progressed since The Howling this Wolfman actually resembles Curse of the Werewolf, featuring Oliver Reed in a torn man-blouse. But the real culprit is the absence of tragedy and pathos. The heart of the story is the pain and suffering about life’s cruel twists. Here the heart has been ripped out and replaced by a vacuous Oedipal twist-run-amok that serves no purpose but to deliver a werewolf smack-down for the grand finale.
With nothing to spur it on but lackluster performances and unbearable script, Wolfman feels redundant. The Wolfman might find an audience in the ranks of unintentional camp but I think with all its misgivings, uneven blend of Gothic horror, Victorian drama, and B-movie thrills it will rest in piece waiting for the next reliable full moon. Maybe we’ll get Del Toro back in top form as “Duke the Dog-Faced Boy” in a remake of Peewee’s Big Top. Now that would have some pizzazz.

The Wolfman
Starring Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, Hugo Weaving
Directed by Joe Johnston
2 stars

The Weary Kind

Redemption Comes in Painful Doses
By
Morgan P Salvo


Crazy Heart is this year’s version of The Wrestler. A true character study built on pain, suffering, angst and real human emotion with a standout performance by the lead actor. Instead of over-the-hill wrestler Randy the Ram creating the skid mark of his life we get burned-out-once-great on-the-skids 57 year old country star Bad Blake (Jeff Bridges).
Blake travels in a battered Suburban Silverado playing bowling alleys and dive bars in a string of low-paying, low-turnout gigs with pickup bands along the way. Starting with the first gig in a bowling alley, you are aware that this is going to be a bumpy ride. As in many movies from the 70’s, this is an anti-hero messing up and doing semi-heroic things.
Playing a Gretsch guitar through an old Fender Tremolux and sleeping in sleazy motels, Blake smokes and drinks as if there’s no tomorrow. Reminiscent of such classic down and out Country stars-gone-bad movies like Payday with Rip Torn and Tender Mercies with Robert Duvall, the plot follows the road trip and ensuing relationships Blake handles or mishandles along the way. He constantly argues with his agent by phone and lives under the burden that former sideman and protégé Tommy Sweet (Colin Farrell) has eclipsed his fame. Jean (Maggie Gylenhall), a New Mexico journalist, shows up to interview Bad and finds genuine interest in this mess of a human being. Bad, still able to score groupies, discovers hope in the awkward interview with Jean and the tables begin to turn.
Even throughout slow parts this movie rings true and wrings out the guts of the characters. Blake boozes, sweats and pukes his way through life accurately depicting alcoholic pain. The heartbreaking relationships between Blake and Jean, her son and Tommy hit the mark every time and are handled with extreme reverence. Every character holds up a mirror either to themselves or each other sustaining agonizing results. This movie wades in familiar territory but the results of what the characters experience almost always turns out different than you’d expect. It’s all a learning experience about finding out what the right thing to do is no matter how wrecked or painful.
Crazy Heart belongs to Bridges. He comes at us full force, wearing Blake’s persona like a badge of honor, subtly allowing us to sink deep into his booze-soaked psyche. Bridges’ ability to seamlessly fit into every character he plays from Rancho Deluxe to American Heart to the punk-outlaw in the overlooked western Bad Company and the dude in The Big Lebowski, has always been flawless. Creating nuances and simplicities that are finely tuned and his natural ability to slide into Blake’s been-there-done-that attitude keeps us riveted. Drunk and numb most of the time, Bad provides no huge temper tantrum but his anger is there, seething underneath the fatigued skin. Bridges presents such a strong character in Bad Blake from the first frame to the last that you have no choice but to believe.
Seeming uncomfortable at first, Gylenhall nails every scene with authenticity and the age difference is not a problem. Chicks dig guys with guitars and old coots dig younger chicks: its just physics. Duvall plays the wise old codger bartender with that glint in his eye and wisdom to spew. Farrell is a surprise and does a fine job but the whole time I kept thinking “that’s Colin Farrell”. Both Farrell and Bridges do their own singing.
Actor/director Scott Cooper displays all the right indie-flick touches but where he shines is in the music. Written by music producer T Bone Burnett and the late guitar player/songwriter Stephen Bruton, the cool and catchy songs have a feel of Waylon Jennings meets Tom Petty. Duvall even sings a song a cappella in a fishing boat.
There’s one scene in particular that sums up the brilliance of this movie. In New Country vs. Old, Tommy and Bad share a stage performing a duet. Having hired Bad as an opener, Tommy sneaks onstage to sing with him. Tommy feels like he’s supporting the old man, Bad in turn resents having to share the stage and despises the moment and himself. The genius is no one says any of this. It's all done with their exchange of glances, and the revelation in Bad’s facial expression as he leaves the amphitheater amidst huge tour buses.
Like The Wrestler, Crazy Heart epitomizes the bleak and the uplifting in an agonizing soul searching attempt for redemption. Although here no one gets stapled in the face--- just emotional staples for the duration of their existence. I guarantee you will remember these characters for life.

Crazy Heart
Starring Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gylenhall, Colin Farrell, Robert Duvall
Written and directed by Scott Cooper
4 stars

Integrity First

 Oliver Stone Softens the Blows on The Decider
by Morgan P Salvo


At first I thought I was watching a trick movie. This is no scathing statement on the evils of the Bush administration, nor does it take a feel-good pro-Bush stance. W. paints an unflattering yet surprisingly sympathetic picture of George W. Bush. And even more surprising is it’s directed by Oliver Stone. Where’s the conspiracy theory? I get the distinct impression he doesn’t want to kick a dead horse when it’s down.

Stone has stated in recent interviews that he didn’t want to go for the jugular. Although he found while making this movie that GW was completely unfit to be president, he also determined that he’s not such a bad guy. And so it goes in this saga of W (Josh Brolin). We get to see the early days in a fraternity showcasing his penchant of calling everyone by nick names, his years of heavy drinking and carousing, his stammering courtship of Laura Bush (Elizabeth Banks), his relationship with his pastor (a big and beefy Stacy Keach) and his subsequent switch from booze to born again. But the main crux of the movie is his relationship with “Poppy”, aka Bush senior (James Cromwell) and his inability to please him. It’s the age old oedipal story. After dodging all responsibility and labor, W. still wants to please his Dad and finds God in the process. In essence he spends the rest of the movie trying to please both of his fathers: the biological and the heavenly one.
Members of the administration are depicted in almost cartoon fashion, and the people we know to be the most influential, Karl Rove (Toby Jones) and Dick Cheney (Richard Dreyfuss), come off as sidekicks. Through subtlety we see the conniving Rove’s influence and Cheney’s slick methods of managing the President, despite Bush’s insistence, “Hey now remember, I tell you what to do—I’m the decider.” Cheney commands the stage in a political meeting that refers to the power of owning the world through obtaining oil. This is the closest to scary this movie gets.
The acting is all good with the exception of Scott Glenn (who’s never impressed me) as Rumsfeld, who just glosses over his lines. Brolin has Bush down to a science but there are times when it only resembles a comedic impersonation. After 8 years it’s difficult to watch a portrayal of Bush and not know what’s coming: the smirk, the chortle, the deer in the headlights look – and its all there, though I did notice that this W. was remarkably able to complete his sentences. Dreyfuss absolutely embodies Cheney, dodging their real life size difference by leaning and peering in from the background.
I’m most curious about the timing of this release. Anyone on the planet knows these characters, but to tell their story now implies that it will reveal some kind of conspiracy, crime or deception relevant to the election. I was ready to see a story of evil men manipulating a moron puppet president, but it’s much more understated than that. It’s downright humorous to see the formulation of the term “axis of evil”. It’s like Stone held back and let us see (like flies on the wall) how messed up things get behind closed doors”—it’s frighteningly civil.
By the end of the film you will not have learned anything new, though you just might have a different opinion of W. This movie is a tragedy of an unlovable loser who just wants to earn his daddy’s appreciation but doesn’t want to do anything for it. The movie reads as fiction but then again unfortunately doesn’t W’ years as president? With the constant barrage from the real Bush administration and its innumerable blunders in the world today it’s hard to stomach a softer kinder version of the saga of GW. It will not elicit votes for or against any party currently running. W. shows that Bush came into this presidency scathed and bewildered and most likely will leave that way too. Focusing on a sitting President with the lowest approval rating ever, W. comes off like old news not fit to print.

W.
Starring Josh Brolin, James Cromwell, Ellen Burstyn, Elizabeth Banks, Richard Dreyfuss
Dir: Oliver Stone
 2 stars

Slice and Dice

Rampaging Claw-man takes it to the lower level
By
Morgan P Salvo


Wolverine is predisposed to make a ton of money thanks to the marketing blitz ($87 million thus far), but it does not live up to expectations. Most of it feels like a big waste of cinema. It is all about the sequels and prequels. As a result it doesn’t stand alone - it goes in too many directions, stagnates into a world between camp and high drama, and leaves too many characters alive for any sense of closure. Compelling flicks like Watchmen and the first X-Men raised the bar, and Wolverine languishes somewhere way below.
The story begins in 1845 with two brothers with some sort of “gift”, who bond via patricide and roam through a montage of wars—American Civil War, WWI & II and Viet Nam. Never aging past 30 or so, it becomes apparent however that these brothers have very dissimilar attitudes. Logan aka “Wolverine” (Hugh Jackman) has a conscience whereas Victor aka “Sabretooth” (Liev Shriber) regales in flaring tempers, death and destruction. Their superhuman abilities are never explained. Wolverine has bones that grow out between his knuckles like swords, uncanny superhuman strength, has the ability to jump really high and ingest bullets into his system while his wounds heal. Ditto for Sabretooth except that he just grows fingernails. Maybe that’s why he’s mad all the time. After surviving execution in Nam, Colonel Stryker (Danny Huston) helps them start a new life in a rag tag mercenary band of testosterone driven thugs.
When their missions become too sadistic Wolverine decides to quit the team. Turning his back on the bloodshed he walks off into the woods. Of course “no one leaves the team” and the evil Colonel has other plans. Thus begins phase two of the saga wherein the brothers are pitted against each other. Wolverine is then duped with a revenge motive into becoming a science project to be filled with “adamantium” (strongest alloy in the world) and “more pain than he’ll ever endure” thus becoming an indestructible force to be reckoned with. Stryker melodramatically informs Logan, “First we destroy you then make you indestructible.” This backfires of course, and they spend the rest of the movie trying to destroy him.
Director Gavin Hood (known for his South African drama Tsotsi) seems estranged from the action for this CGI punch-fest extravaganza. It seems like Hood just got to push buttons. It’s a very disjointed flick with a similar feel of John Woo’s helming of Mission Impossible 2: a great foreign director seemingly boxed in by influential American producers. Whereas Tsotsi was loaded with empathy and humanity, Wolverine creates a vacuum—there’s an attempt at something deeper but it’s swallowed whole by the plot inconsistencies and special effects. Some of the more high ended action scenes seem to fall short or even slow down. Sure it’s explosively loud, boasting its big production values, yet seems empty, lacking imagination. Not to mention that with as much stabbing, slashing, poking, gouging and shooting as there is that you’d think you would see some blood...
The actors clearly enjoyed embodying their mutant characters. Jackman does his brooding best to seethe, holler and flex and you can pretty much relate to his pain. After his Oscar stint I couldn’t help but be amazed at the range of this guy and the weird roles he plays. Danny Huston is over used, spending too much time on the villainous scientist. The dichotomy of Huston’s character just never pans out - with his one minute nice guy then evil the next, his portrayal just sort of lays in limbo. Shriber’s a big HAM, reprising his evil wisecracking tone in Phantoms. Face it, constant rage and sarcasm gets old quick. Introducing the character of Gambit, Taylor Kitsch playfully adds some life to the proceedings by flicking cards at people sending them through walls. But Wolverine’s chick Kayla Silverfox (Lynn Collins) neither adds nor distracts with her pretty eyes making people do her bidding by her touchy feely powers
There’s John Woo-esque gun play, a ridiculous nod to Easy Rider, a supremely lame fight scene with a guy who resembled “Fat Bastard” from Austin Powers, a mutant experimental camp, a spinning decapitated Cyclops head chewing up Three Mile Island and a “Free the Mutants” scene that should make PETA proud.
As the first of the X-Men Origins movies, Wolverine becomes an exercise in how many mutants can be introduced and never explained, too open ended and connected to sequels and predecessors. I have a feeling the X-Men Origins movies are going to be around for a long time, judging by the sea of mutants. I don’t know if I’m going to live long enough to see the end of this franchise, or if I’ll care by the time I’m 90.

X-men Origins: Wolverine
Starring Hugh Jackman, Liev Shriber, Danny Huston
Directed by: Gavin Hood
 2 stars

Not Happening

M Night's Newest Dud


The Happening is not very happening. Since The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, it’s been all miss and no hit for director M. Night Shyamalan. This flick raises a bunch of questions immediately and judging from my calculations, is a sort of vegetation-runs-amok/environmental “turn-on-the-humans” doomsday scenario. I guess it must be M. Night’s comment on Global Warming, Ecology and the possibility of environment’s retaliation.
The film focuses on a few main characters running from an unknown virus that could be caused by nature’s ability to spread toxins in the air. The plot unfolds essentially as people in various city parks begin to halt what they’re in the middle of doing, then either walk backwards, repeat themselves, and/or stare blankly. But they ALL end up killing themselves. Animals seen to go by unscathed as plant-life goes berserk in Mother Nature’s version of mass suicides, sans the Kool-Aid. M Night doesn’t make horror movies; he makes long Twilight Zone episodes. Most of M’s tricks are here, some worthy of the sneaky repetition but mostly resembles a tired hack genre getting old. Even his mandatory Hithcock-esque cameo isn’t onscreen—its there, but the credits is where you’ll find it.
Right when it gets eerie it gets stupid. By far the worst part of The Happening is the absolute unbelievability of the characters and the actors’ performances. The scene establishing friendship between Elliot (Mark Wahlberg) and Julian (John Leguizamo) is about as phony as movie dialogue gets. And Elliot’s marriage to Alma (Zooey Deshannel) isn’t remotely convincing, as the actors prove void of portraying anything beyond stick-people. There is bad soap opera dialogue running rampant, laden with idiotic bits of attempted tension-releasing comedic banter. The moronic relationship between the two leads is so cute and demeaning, I almost left the theater. Wahlberg plays a guy who keeps it together in the face of doom but his wimp-voice and cry-baby attitude dominate the entire evacuation sojourn. He literally just walks thru the role. He had a few chances to chew up the scenery and this would’ve been a perfect opportunity; eat the scenery and save the world. Instead he’s a perpetual one-note grimace. Zooey just runs around batting her baby blues like some kind of coma victim showing us vapidity gone wild. Responding to the theory that terrorists have devised a toxin to make people kill themselves Alma utters the ridiculous line, “Just when you think no more evil could be invented…”
There are Major plot holes in this thing; is the toxin carried by the wind? Is plant life the species attacking? If so, why did they allow a car to smash into their brother, the tree? The best part of the whole film is the photography and I think M Night knows this. Here he tries to take our mind off how lame this movie is by letting us luxuriate in the pretty scenery-even if it could be evil. Using cinematographer-legend Tak Fujimoto he scores big. The coolest stuff is simply the wind rustling leaves in the trees or the ability to make breeze-blown grass in fields look creepy— no insipid dialogue just visuals. The silent parts speak the loudest. And thanks to an upgrade of an R-rating we get some blood-spewing and clever ways of certain demises: death by lawnmower, zoo lions mauling a keeper, and workers dropping off construction sites.
You will have to decide for yourself: is it a voice for environmentalists, an attempt at thought-provoking insight to our bad choices in the world, or the what-ifs? What if plants took over and got mad at us for screwing up the planet so bad.
In the end this movie’s message (stay with the one you love) turns out to be cute, not creepy or scary. The only thing that kept me in my seat was to watch for all the clues to M. Night’s twist ending. The twist is that there is no twist. Apparently M. Night has given up on twist endings and on giving us decent movies to watch. The Happening is all about the quest to find a safe haven. Maybe M. Night should find one and stay there for a while.

The Happening
Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschannel, John Leguezamo
Written/Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
 1/2 star

Cast this Vote out to Sea.

This sugary bipartisan romp goes nowhere fast.
By
Morgan P Salvo


This movie is chock-full of cute mixed messages. The parable conveyed isn’t about political issues or even homespun wisdom. It harkens back to the age old Hollywood fantasy: if you do the right thing, follow your heart, fulfill your dreams, everything will be fine and the world a better place. Swing Vote is a schmaltzy fairy tale that dives deep into unbelievable land. It makes Sleeping Beauty look like Frankenhooker.
Due to a malfunctioning voting booth Bud Johnson (Kevin Costner), a lazy drunk oblivious to the political system, must re-cast his uncounted vote deciding the next president of the United States. News travels fast making Bud and his daughter Molly’s (newcomer Madeline Carroll) white-trash life a whirlwind of attention thanks to the imposing media blitz circus.
This is far-fetched stuff but the “one-vote-makes-a-difference” concept is spun by real newscasters, believably referring to it as “a fluke, history in the making, unprecedented” etc. Cameos vary including Chris Matthews, Bill Maher, Arianna Huffington and Tucker Carlson to name a few. I guess everyone jumped on the band wagon for this pathetic little touching Hallmark card of a movie to boost the American vote. But I still can’t buy it—an election would never come down to one person, and if it somehow did, that person's identity would not be revealed, let alone with this kind of coverage.
I felt I was watching a TV commercial the entire time, fighting the urge leave the room and grab a snack. So instead I tried hard to gauge the political affiliations of some of the stars. Costner effectively camouflages his true political leanings by taking a backseat to the action, but my impression is that he tilts a little more left than I previously expected. Dennis Hopper goes beyond acting as Democratic candidate Donald Greenleaf, because in real life the once wacked-out-Easy Rider-nut-job-Hollywood-rebel is now a staunch Republican and Bush supporter. No telling where Kelsey Grammar (President Andrew Boone) stands because he’s just his usually smarmy self. Nathan Lane (Art Crumb) and Stanley Tucci (Martin Fox) playing opposing political strategists are both one dimensional: Lane hams it up, almost winking to the camera, and Tucci does his holier-than-thou-smarty-pants shtick that’s wearing thin. As Molly, Bud’s over educated daughter, Carroll remains solid throughout, holding it all together. I’m sure she’ll receive all kinds of accolades for her performance but I saw only a characterization instead of acting. The co-writer and first-time director (Joshua Michael Stern) tries to cover too much ground in short spurts, and wastes WAY too much time on Costner being a dumb-ass.
I was hoping to see a multitude of correlations to today’s election coverage. Instead this flick is way too generic, more of an inert spoof of stereotypical Republicans and Democrats. Any parallels between McCain and Obama types are lost in the fray. There are no vicious smears against opponents, just the attempt to sway Bud to their side. After misreading his quotes, both parties try to win him over by flip-flopping, Republicans going for gay marriage, and the environment, Democrats abandoning abortion rights and berating illegal immigrants. The focus is on finagling and deceit rather than corruption, and we are supposed to believe that no politician would ever stoop so low as to fool the American public when confronted with real truth. Conveying that politicians play ludicrous games and lying to win is only as far as they go. The sentiment being that there are no villains: if they obtain a conscience they instantly become heroic.
We are also given an insultingly heartfelt monologue where Costner does his “Mr. Smith goes to Washington” speech about what a loser he is but everyone is basically good, resulting in one of the biggest copout endings imaginable.
See The Candidate with Robert Redford or Tim Robbins’ Bob Roberts for movies that show more political satire and insight. Do not waste your time on this film unless you want to see the touching story of a grown man acting like a child growing up. Swing Vote is to politics what Thank You for Smoking was to the evils of cancer—dismally absent. Clearly the underlying message in this movie is to vote, without taking sides, but with your heart not your mind. That’s a tough call. And as with this movie’s annoying premise it begs you to believe that it all matters. This film could’ve mattered. Turns out it’s a dud, flickered out by a big-headed canvas and small-minded brush.

Swing Vote
Starring Kevin Costner, Kelsey Grammar, Dennis Hooper, Nathan Lane, Stanley Tucci, Paula Patton Director: Joshua Michael Stern
 1 star

Why Must they Sing so much?

What's Good for Stage makes for Strange Movie
by
Morgan P Salvo
 

Salutations to Johnny Depp and Tim Burton for attacking head on a new combination: the slasher musical. The problem is, I’m not sure the two go together…

From a slasher movie perspective, this movie gets the job done. There’s tons o’ blood. It’s like a renaissance tribute to old black and white horror movies and Grand Guignol (at its finest).Virtually a sing-along blood bath with clever lyrics and go-for the jugular arrangements. Burton even took artistic-license and picked an off-red for the blood spurting, evoking old Technicolor films, literally raining blood at times.
Blood and guts withstanding, there’s the singing. I knew people were going to sing in this movie, I just wasn’t sure how much. Well, they sing constantly. It may have been better on stage, but on film I lose focus when the characters sing. Last time I checked people talk to one another when communicating. As soon as a soliloquy erupted I found it distracting. But it is a musical after all.

Based on Stephen Sondheim's Broadway hit, the demented revenge saga involves a barber Billy Barker (Depp) who is wrongly convicted and sentenced to jail by an evil judge Turpin (Rickman). Barker escapes to reek havoc on Turpin, who has taken custody of Barker’s daughter. In fulfilling his need for vengeance, Barker takes his misplaced rage out on the townspeople by “shaving them”, or more precisely, slicing their necks. He meets up with a meat-pie maker, Mrs. Lovett (Bonham Carter) and rents the upstairs to conduct his dastardly deeds. They dispose of the bodies through an elaborate sliding barber chair/trapdoor to the basement, housing the huge meat grinder and furnace, where they bake them into the pies. Business skyrockets. The sub-plot involves a love interest between sailor (Jamie Campbell Bower) and Turpin’s ward (Jayne Wisener) and her inevitable rescue.
Bonham Carter is almost adorable in her wickedness, while Depp hams it up as the maniac, with inner hatred seething in his guts and a bride of Frankenstein hairdo. Sardonically frustrated, he can never seduce the judge into his lair to enact his sweet revenge so he waits… and sings. Sondheim has said he prefers actors that sing rather than singers that act, and it’s easy to see why. Depp is impressive with a kind of soft rock star bravado ala David Bowie. The main standout is Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat/Ali G) as Pirelli, exhibiting actual vocal skills and wearing a matador suit with package-revealing stretch pants. Unnecessary, but hilarious.
Everything in this gory movie looks cool, the sets, the extras (extra rats, extra cockroaches, extra blood), the gothic look of the two leads. Some of the songs, such as “ode to my friends”(his gleaming razors) and “which pie would taste best” (priest or lawyer) had me in stitches.

With nothing but admiration and respect for the genius involved in making this project and its house of horrors atmosphere, I just can’t get behind it. It’s not their fault it’s just the genre. Besides, it doesn’t matter how many throat-slashings they throw at you, when they start singing about it, well, then it just becomes cute.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street
Starring Johnny Depp, Helena Bonhman Carter, Alan Rickman,
Directed by Tim Burton
 2 stars