From an Angel to a Priest

Priest offers gloomy hope and action stars that don’t have to act
by Morgan P Salvo


 What’s the deal with Hollywood’s fixation on vampires and Graphic Novels? It seems every time I turn around, there’s another wasteland apocalyptic tale of desolation and blood suckers. And what’s the deal with “Paul Bettany: action star”? Wasn’t he just a skinny British actor there for a while? Now he seems to always be some sort of angel/demon/hero with religious overtones showing off his physique.

With a storyline taken straight from John Ford’s classic The Searchers, Priest involves warrior/priest (Bettany) from a dystopian wasteland (see?) who sets aside his sacred vows, disobeys church law and embarks on a quest to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece. He’s joined on his crusade by a trigger-happy young wasteland sheriff (Cam Gigandet sporting a really bad haircut), and a former Warrior Priestess (Maggie Q). Sound familiar? It’s a lot like Star Wars without the stifling cuteness. Based on a manhwa (Korean comic) series created by Hyung Min-woo which fuses the Western genre with supernatural horror, the novel is notable for its unusual, angular art style. Director Scott Stewart (Legion) captures some of this but succumbs to showing off his special effects credentials and forcing us to endure his Legion-style directing relying on uncomfortable scenes with unnecessary dialogue. Priest resembles Book of Eli meets Tron with some of the I Am Legend monsters thrown in. The 3D beats the hell out of Thor/Last Airbender but still is sub par compared to Drive Angry/Bloody Valentine and there is surprising ample blood seepage for PG-13.
So we have a director who made one of the worst movies ever with Legion again directing Bettany who looks like a monk with a tattoo cross on his face delivering scratched voiced whispers like Clint Eastwood. Then we have a guy who looks like Clint Eastwood from the spaghetti western days (Karl Urban) wearing a serape and broad brim who’s a vampire and evil nemesis. Of course the rival enemies have one big showdown in a Road Warrior meets Fast and Furious train chase finale.
I remember when Bettany starred and actually acted in Lars von Trier’s Dogville. How did he morph into action hero? Was it just his cold glare or handsome physique? Seems Bettany has fallen from grace stuck in paycheck movies that give him little to do except utter bad dialogue and fly around the air punching, clobbering, and stabbing things.
I thought Priest was going to be good, but it is a perfect example of great previews and only a so-so movie, begging the question, ‘vampires and more vampires, aren’t we getting our fill yet?’

PRIEST
Starring Paul Bettany, Karl Urban, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q
Director: Scott Stewart
PG-13
2 stars