More Celluloid Proof That Movie Stars Suckby
Morgan P salvo
Let’s talk star power. Fame is fickle and once achieved it comes and goes. Tom Cruise movies won’t pack houses like they used to and Cameron Diaz won’t get recognition until she wiggles her ass in the next Charlie’s Angels movie. But where both have become so much of “themselves” that they're all we see, not the characters they portray. Alas the combo of beauty and pearly white wears thin. Cruise has not the star power or any talent of yesteryear. When he worked with Newman, Hoffman and Nicholson he upped his game. As soon as he starred in and produced gazillion dollar action flicks, spewed scientology and danced on Oprah’s chair his credibility lost momentum Diaz on the other hand had moments of real talent and indie greatness but then fell apart into ditzy blithering giggling idiot roles. We get what’s left of their shtick as this tedious piece of fluff is not amusing or entertaining. An endlessly cute, incoherent and ridiculous espionage action-comedy, Knight and Day stars Cruise (Roy Miller), and Diaz (June Havens) as a pair of cartoony humans hopping around the globe, from plane crash to car chase to helicopter to trains and then a motorcycle chase involving stampeding bulls.. Director James Mangold (Cop Land /Walk the Line) demonstrates no flair for rapid action choreography. Instead, the stars blatantly over-enunciate lines from a lame script by first-timer Patrick O’Neill in front of a green screen onto which computer-generated action crap emanates. Never have I seen a more predictable story and dialogue. Miller has Jason Bourne-like problems as a relentless killing machine with a heart of gold and wants to help a damsel on the way to better mankind. Tom plays it straight which almost works although that Risky Business ray ban look was laughable and unforgivable .On the other hand Diaz’s turn as an innocent stuck in the middle of spy-games is never believable as she “adorably” talks to herself attempting to let you know how she feels and fill in the audience as to what plot is unfolding .I had a hard time looking at her face as I kept coming up with “Manly Pekinese”. With each subpar quip delivered with a cocksure grin from Cruise or pseudo wide-eyed bewilderment for Diaz their idiotic romantic comedy banter is stale and their silly star power makes it all the less believable.
Knight and Day has a running theme wherein Miller drugs June to save her from her dangerous surroundings. They should’ve handed out some of that stuff along with the tickets so I could’ve saved my memory from this god-awful 2hr torture fest... Knight and Day
Starring Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgaard, Viola Davis, Paul Dano
zero stars
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