Predators vs. Predators

The latest laser-shooting alien flick is just a rehashing of a tired old genre
by
Morgan P Salvo

There’s a scene in the preview for Predators that was not in the movie that shows Adrien Brody getting not one… but a gazillion laser beam lights on his body from what logically would be hoards of predators. In a movie where there aren’t that many good scenes it just not acceptable to leave out one of the teasers in the trailer you were waiting for. That’s frustrating, which is also the word that best describes Predators, the newest installment in the dreadlocked- camouflaged-laser-shooting, lizard-mantis-space-beasts franchise. The combo of the Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Planet Terror) produced and Nimrod Antal (Kontroll, Vacancy) helmed action packed jungle epic sounded promising. Or did it? Having already clocked in two features, two Alien crossovers, and countless novels, videogames, and comic-book spin-offs a real spicy version seemed necessary. What we get is a watered down redux of the 1987 Schwarzenegger version with just a hint of twists. Actually the best part of the movie experience was the preview for Rodriguez’s new flick Machete.
Beginning with black-ops mercenary Royce (Adrien Brody) in a terror ridden free fall through the sky and hurtling down toward the jungle terrain with a faulty parachute pack, things certainly get off to a great start. It turns out he's not the only one to have fallen from the sky. Plopping down on what turns out to be an alien planet, are a bunch of elite killers, including an Israeli sniper (Alice Braga), Russian Special forces fighter (Oleg Taktarov), a soldier from Sierra Leone (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali), a Yakuza (Louis Ozawa Changchien), Mexican drug enforcer (Danny Trejo), and American death row killer (Walton Goggins).but it quickly becomes apparent that the terrain onto which they've been deposited is a sort of game preserve and they're the intended fresh meat. It’s another example of a good cast with nowhere to go.
I wonder what happens to directors who come from their native land to make it big in Hollywood. Hungary's Antal’s Kontroll was a fascinating film and now he barely squeaks by with clunkers like Armored. I excepted to see a lot more fast cuts and dizzying edits with Rodriguez pulling the strings but this movie meanders into “what next” mode after and interminable amount of time for the characters to yak it up and try to figure out where they are and what they’re e dealing with. Problem with that is that we already know what to expect because we haven’t been dropped out of an airplane... we’ve been to the movies. OK some of the bad/good points worthy of mentioning due to the humor involved are: the cool Predator dog-wolves that are relentlessly slaughtered, the word help is used a lot more than ever necessary, surprisingly the dialogue remains fairly wise crack free, the first Schwarzenegger ‘87 Predator is explained in unnecessary histrionic detail, Academy award winner beanpole Brody is now a buff, glaring, growling-voiced half covered in mud fighting machine, and finally big headed Laurence Fishburne as crazy man scavenger. Then there’s the Predator himself. Still looking cool with so much going for him, I mean he can camouflage himself into thin air, beam down into any place as in Star Trek shoot lasers from his shoulder, hack your head off with his gigantic knife, tear you from limb to limb with his mighty biceps and talons scream so loud you have to double over, and still you can knock him over with a tree branch…? C’mon people …Destructible or indestructible…? Make up your mind.
John Debney's jarring score lays it on thick, working overtime to add more dramatic overtones to this already overworked snarl-fest and the use of Little Richard’s fast paced ditty “Long Tall Sally” for the credits after a supremely sober rendering of this big game hunt saga is just beyond comprehension.
After the Predators became plural they did battle with Danny Glover and Gary Busey in 1990's L.A, fought against Aliens (also now plural) in Antarctica in 2004 and had a rematch in small-town Colorado in 2007. "Predators" serves up enough frantic chases, explosions and slugfests but it's also somewhat monotonous, with stilted yakking, no memorable thrills, and a bad fadeout ending that provides little reward for the characters and audience alike. Predators felt like it had the right intentions for the first half but then rested on its laurels skating by for the remainder. It seems the franchise has been recycled and re-imagined more times than does a movie-goer good. With such a concept ingrained in our movie viewing psyche why not take it further than have it feel like rehashing all the stuff we’ve seen before.

Predators
Starring Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace, Sophia Braga,Walter Goggins, Danny Trejo
2 stars
Directed by Nimrod Antal