Adventures in Babysitting

The Sitter is wrong on every level and that’s not a good thing
by Morgan P Salvo

Surprisingly this lame comedy is aptly titled as The Sitter sits on its hands.
Director David Gordon Green has come a long way since Undertow and Snow Angels. I guess the comedy bug hit him with Pineapple Express. Working successfully with Danny McBride on Eastbound and Down is the vilest, most offensive, hedonistic and yet funniest show I may have ever have seen, Green is back in the comedy saddle again this time with Jonah Hill in The Sitter. Green has made the worst movie of his once illustrious career and possibly the worst movie of 2011. I really don’t know why. The premise is good, the ideas seem funny but instead of a crude comedy we get a soul searching, “everything’s fine if you just accept yourself” tired old fable, like a Disney pic with swearing.
Beginning with a raunchy little scene and an in-joke nod to James Franco’s soap opera playing in the background, it seems we’re going to see a continuation of Hill’s Superbad character shooting off x-rated vulgar one-liners and proving he’s matured about as much as he’s lost weight (this movie was shot before Hill trimmed down.) But as quickly as the crudeness appears, it’s taken away. Hill’s comic timing and command of banter is awesome but is lost in this mishmash of moral ideology and channeling of various 80’s flicks. Basically this movie is Adventures in Babysitting with more cursing. We’ve seen this all before: disgruntled babysitter has something better to do (involving sex and drugs) so the sitter takes the kids on one raucous escapade after another, racing to complete tasks before the deadline of the parents’ return. We spend the entire movie waiting for Sitter to go wild but it never does, instead segueing into one lecture after another on “how to be yourself” amidst bad stereotypes and foul-mouthed dialogue. Sitter is reminiscent of Date Night which was actually funnier because at least it felt like a comedy, and that’s just not right…at all. And I saw that on an airplane for God’s sake.

All this should work in the hands of Green but the ball drops straight to hell when we realize that the babysitter is going to continue to heroically dish out anecdotes of wisdom to kids with issues. AND Sitter is responsible for some of the most inane dialogue in modern history. Chalk it up to debut of screenwriters Brian Gatewood’s and Alessandra Tanaka’s lackluster script that essentially cancels out the talent of everyone involved And what’s the deal with filmmakers once again wasting the talent that is Sam Rockwell? (Yeah I’m talking to you Iron Man 2 and Cowboys and Aliens). Sam does his best as the conflicted drug dealer but he’s up against a barricade of bad ideas.
Usually a movie that makes this many mistakes redeems itself with at least a couple of decent scenes. Such is not the case in Sitter. Sold to us by the previews as the raunchiest holiday flick ever, the true vulgarity of this lazy, embarrassing and boring movie is expecting anyone to like it.

The Sitter
Starring Jonah Hill, Sam Rockwell, Ari Graynor, Max Records
Directed by
David Gordon Green
Rated R
½ star