Blair Witch in Space

Apollo 18 belies its “found footage” scenario and goes for the gusto

by Morgan P Salvo




We all have to make choices. Like if someone tells you a story and says it really happened, you want to choose to believe it. And if it’s an especially good story even better. And if it’s embellished, all over the map and totally unbelievable but makes you laugh then all the better. In other words, so what if it’s not true?
If you want to believe, go ahead, but this movie sheds its “found footage” concept pretty quickly and just digs deep into delivering the horror movie goods. Note that right at the beginning here I am going to tell you: there are credits to Apollo 18.
Apollo’s plot is so simple it’s refreshing: disguised as lost footage of a secret mission to the moon, a few good men go into space and find out something is really wrong and mysteriously deadly. The astronauts quickly realize they’re space bait guinea pigs and now its life or space death at the hands of creepy life forms on the moon. As in Ridley Scott’s masterpiece Alien, their mission is not a return flight. The space program’s head honchos back on planet earth only want a specimen of the dangerous stuff to verify its existence and keep it monitored. So what’s the problem with sacrificing a few astronauts?
Although Apollo 18 comes from the formulaic ilk of frontrunner Blair Witch, the idiocy of the Paranormal Activity chain and the super pathetic The Fourth Kind “found footage” school of filmmaking, it drops that notion like a lead balloon and even lets you laugh at the fact that you know damn well no one could possibly be holding a camera for certain scenes unless it was a union dude from Hollywood. Don’t be looking for Tom Hanks or Ed Harris or the scent of Ron Howard’s fingers on this one. This Apollo goes for intensity with stone cold performances, real NASA footage and sci-fi terror ripped right out of Alien.
And there are monsters. They enter in true horror movie style out of nowhere, darting in silhouette forms across the screen. They also have that Descent kind of monster noise – you know--- the hamster chuckling, woodpecker pecking, trees creaking, gurgling kind of noise. And they are spider/rock demon/crab monsters (like in South Park) so watch out if you ever bought a moon rock as a souvenir - it could turn out to bite you in the ass or drill into your abdomen.
Of course there is a big dramatic pause at the end to let you feel like you’ve just watched something real and inform you to go to “Lunartruth.com” which is basically a pseudo site designed to promote the movie—in fact its frozen and you can’t click on anything (I checked). But sticking around the theatre you’ll see about 12 minutes of credits including actors, writers and a slew of techno post production teams that boggle the mind. A major plus among the credits is editor Patrick Lussier, whose inspired directing skills brought us Drive Angry and My Bloody Valentine. Lussier has a bloody field day throwing images in our faces and using literally every trick in the book: grainy film stock, skips, bleeps washouts, jump cuts, fuzzy film hair, dust scratches, burn holes… you name it, it’s in there. The rewarding part is that though the gimmicks abound they don’t hinder or distract but instead propel the simple yet crazy narrative.
The actors should be acknowledged because they were impeccable. Astronaut Warren Christie is like a stern combo of Luke Wilson and James Caviezel (aka Jesus) and his partner-in-space Lloyd Owen who turns evil through infection is just as Oscar-worthy reliable. There’s also an un-credited third dude who spends his time weightless in the hovering observer ship who does all his acting upside down but he’s still swinging with the script. Everyone else in the cast is portrayed in voice-overs via intercoms and radio transmissions We’re also treated to some very cool music during the credits by a band that I’ve never heard of called Parking Lot.
Unlike the abysmal Paranormal Activity that reeks of phoniness from the get go and wants you to believe so bad that it shoots itself in the foot, Apollo 18 shuns the documentary concept and goes for the jugular, giving the polar opposite effect. Lopez-Gallego, Lussier and company could give a shit if you believe or not. These filmmakers are here to entertain you plain and simple, which in the long run turns out to be a great choice.

Apollo 18
Starring Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen
Directed by Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego
Rated PG-13
3 stars