Ignore the Silliness Enjoy the Ride

Prepare for good old fashioned popcorn-gorging entertainment
By Morgan P Salvo


Limitless plays havoc with the old adage that most people use just 10 to 20 percent their brain power. But what if the other 80 or 90 percent were suddenly made available? Broke, facing extreme writer’s block and rejected by his girlfriend, deadbeat New York writer Eddie Morra (Bradley Cooper) is convinced that he has no future. Things get real different when a slick shifty figure from his past introduces him to NZT, a new synthetic drug that enhances mental abilities. Immediately after popping a clear little pill Eddie’s neurons get turbocharged. Stoked on NZT, Eddie rises to the top of the financial world. He attracts the attention of tycoon Carl Van Loon (Robert De Niro) who believes he can use Eddie to make a fortune. He also suffers from terrible withdrawal side-effects, a dwindling supply and bad decisions (including Russian mob involvement) that threaten to destroy any chance of Eddie's future.

Despite its many plot holes and mistakes (the most glaringly ridiculous scene involves ice skates) Limitless is way better than I thought it would be. From the camera–trick psychedelic beginning to the creepy and illuminating sense we get while watching Eddie under the influence, it’s more about enjoying the ride of this flick. Limitless is a paranoid thriller blended with science fiction, propelled by doses of satire. The flick is narration heavy and tends to take the story a little too lightly but most of the time it works. Then of course there’s that darn Meth metaphor. NZT looks a lot like speed: Eddie shows signs of bug eyes, dilated pupils, paranoia, no appetite, and stays up for days. There’s also a warranted amount of delusions of grandeur when Eddie states “I wasn’t high or wired, just clear” or “I don’t have delusions of grandeur, I have a recipe for grandeur”. I bet Charlie Sheen says that to himself all the time.
Limitless rockets alongside Eddie’s progress with a four-digit IQ, ability to learn to play the piano in seven hours, finesse the stock markets, summon lost memories in photographic detail, and speak fluent languages in minutes. As the side affects erupt Eddie skips thru time with no recollection or memory allowing thriller mystery elements to take hold and keeps you guessing as to where this will all end.
Adapted from Alan Glynn's novel The Dark Fields by screenwriter Leslie Dixon and directed with dizzying aplomb by Neil Burger (the Lucky Ones and The Illusionist,). Parodying our zombified short attention span and narcotized age, Burger ingeniously plays the material for straight thrills. Using every camera trick in the book the gimmickry pays off: Quick cuts, fast flashbacks (reminiscent of Requiem for a Dream), fish-eye lens, wide angles, time-lapse zooms, the hits just keep coming.
Acting is sketchy throughout. Cooper (in a constant state of hip five o’clock shadow) shows decent acting chops and proves a range that goes light-years beyond the Hangover, flashing his baby blues and effectively keeping us intrigued as to what’s next.
As girlfriend Lindy, Abbie Cornish is simply adequate due to what little script she has to work with. Andrew Howard’s Russian mobster lowlife creep is disturbingly menacing providing a few of the more intense moments. DeNiro (looking super old) is just not believable as a ruthless corporate raider. His slime-ball big-wig CEO intellect is supposed to be searing, although aside from one decent monologue he seems to be sleepwalking through yet another role.
There’s a moment in The President’s Analyst where in James Coburn as the President’s therapist realizes that he possesses special knowledge due to his role. His face in the elevator when he thinks everyone is out to get him is priceless, his paranoia justified. Limitless infuses lots of those kinds of moments. As Eddie’s path progresses he is constantly looking over his shoulder to see who wants what he has, be it the super itelligence or just the drug itself.

This mystery action thriller really keeps you riveted instead of repulsed. Updated yet old fashioned movie going entertainment, Limitless showcases the pitfalls of addiction, finical corruption, backstabbing lawyers and clandestine deals. And with all the twists and turns it doesn’t take a genius or someone on NZT to put the pieces together. This is the first movie in a long time that causes the audience to root for someone to take drugs. NZT seems great… you can impress everyone, make lots of money and score tons of sex. Still my favorite part was it seems to be a cure for writer’s block. Even with all the pro drug influence Limitless is a cautionary tale about the over emphasis of the pharmaceutics in our culture and the overachieving quest for wealth and material goods in our society while still toying with The Man with the Golden Arm and/or The Lost Weekend-type addiction theories. But in the end the main point of the movie is that after being immersed in murder, corruption, financial power and scandal, where else can a smart guy like Eddie go but politics.

Limitless
Starring Bradley Cooper, Abbie Cornish, Robert DeNiro, Andrew Howard
Directed by Neil Burger
Rated R




2 ¾ stars

Normal Embarrassing People

Insurance Convention offers indie quirkiness in top form
by
Morgan P Salvo
 

Miguel Arteta (Chuck and Buck, Youth in Revolt) deserves credit for being the only director to yank out a decent performance from Jennifer Aniston in the last decade with The Good Girl. With Cedar Rapids he provides a straightforward story about a fictional Wisconsin town, Brown Valley, and the heroic turn of its dweeby hesitant insurance man, Tim Lippe (Ed Helms). Lippe is sent to Cedar Rapids to represent his company at an insurance convention, and soon finds himself mixed up with three convention veterans and the life lessons that ensue

Simplistic to the hilt with real-life scenarios, Rapids is not a wacky comedy, but a heartfelt look at doing the right thing no matter how messed up things get. Like in Fargo, amidst the small time wheeling and dealing we find small town corruption (without a wood chipper).

Arteta’s unassuming style gives the actors room to amuse, keeping the mood as intimate. The hilarity comes out of normalcy thanks to spot-on performances and a screenplay that is something truly original. Rapids is often not funny, just realistically cringe inducing. The truthfulness renders a character study of real people who are not embarrassed of themselves, making us want to jump in the screen and explain to them how freaking ridiculous they are.

This top notch cast really delivers the goods. Helms (The Office/Daily Show), in a terrific performance, eschews comedy “play-acting” and really captures the spirit of a gullible dope. An overweight John C. Reilly as Dean Ziegler is a big lovable lug, all foul mouth and heart. Isiah Whitlock Jr. as Ronald Wilkes “Ronimo”, maintains an even keel ironically doing impersonations from The Wire (on which he was Senator Clay Davis who said “sheee-it” a lot.) Anne Heche is Joan, the tough yet vulnerable saleswoman and Alia Shawkat is Bree the hooker, with heart of gold and drug connections. Stephen Root (Office Space) is the conniving boss along with head honcho insurance guru Kurtwood Smith (Robocop’s super villain/ That 70’s Show). Sigourney Weaver, showing no signs of plastic surgery, is Lippe’s MILF ex-grade school teacher/love interest.

From dork to "Insurance Man, Super-Hero" Helms’ metamorphosis contains some subtle similarities to Sharlto Copely’s in District 9 (though not as impressive). Lippe’s innocence is refreshing to all he encounters and somewhat contagious. This flick offers a smidgen of introspection that allows us all to take a look at ourselves to find the good---might not be much but it’s there. Exposing a slice of heartland America, Rapids is scathing commentary in its own right. At one point the boss informs him to go out and make the insurance team proud, “I always thought you would go places and then somehow you just didn’t.” Well this flick might not go far but it certainly covers a lot emotional high points in its short running time.

Cedar Rapids  Starring Ed Helms, John C Reilly, Anne Heche, Isiah Whitlock Jr.
Directed by Miguel Arteta
Rated R
3 Stars

Love Means never having to say you’re adjusted

Stirring up a Melting Pot of Genres in Twilight Zone Fashion
by
Morgan P Salvo


The Adjustment Bureau is a sci-fi action thriller, love story and parable all rolled into one and though not my favorite movie by any means, writer/director George Nolfi combines all the elements with equal parts to tell a somewhat balanced story.
Based on Phillip K Dick’s short story “Adjustment Team” originally published in 1954, about an insurance salesman who learns that he's a puppet on a string controlled by a clandestine organization. Writer/director George Nolfi (penned The Bourne Ultimatum) has made considerable…ahem… adjustments to the story, though it looks like the business suits (especially the hats) have remained in the same era. This time around the central character is politician David Norris (Matt Damon) whose aspirations are shattered mysteriously at the last moment. The plot takes a while to settle in as it has many facets to set up: the political goings-on of Norris, the out-of-nowhere love interest Elise (Emily Blunt) and finally the mysterious figure heads in the Adjustment Bureau. We meet Harry (Hurt Locker’s Anthony Mackie) and then Richards (Mad Men’s John Slattery) as the somewhat reluctant agents of the Adjustment Bureau. It doesn’t take long to figure out that these guys are angels come down from their “boss” The Chairman (God) to ensure certain people’s destinies do not waver from the path by making tiny “adjustments”. In other words, don’t mess with the future.
That’s where the love interest between David and Elise comes into play—will their immediate smitten love for each stand the test of time? Elise and David are never supposed to meet again, but they do, and that's when things get complicated
Relying on a mandatory Hollywood make-out montage, some unnecessary past-revealing monologues and a minimum of goopy sappy dialogue, this flick is brought to life by Damon and Blunt’s onscreen chemistry. Their first connection is unbelievably charming and that’s how their chemistry plays put the entire movie. They seem to have a natural rapport fitting them to a tee and the core of Adjustment Bureau is based on their undying love for each other. Yes, this is definitely cornball country.

Nolfi has a deft hand in setting up intrigue and romance keeping the film balanced between sincerity and self-conscious amusement. Right when it feels like an all too normal love story it gets all Twilight-Zoney. There’s also an element of dark comedy bordering on slapstick when the semi-oblivious angels show their vague importance by having special powers and their ineptitude when they cannot. Rain and water shield humans from the Bureau’s visibility. And they are left in the dark by The Chairman who doesn’t fill them in on everything. “Chairman always has a plan. We only see part of it”.

So it’s not hard to fool the clueless angels. And they have to wear a fedora (no explanation here, they just do) as they race through the city via doors or portals to different locations faster than a speeding subway. When the Bureau seems to be at a stand till they call in the super angel Thompson (Terence Stamp) to play hardball. Stamp’s monologue about why the angels must intercede in the people on earth’s existence is a silly history lesson about how mankind cannot do well on its own reminding us of the Black Plague World War I & II. This might make sense in written short story form but as a scolding monologue it falls flatBut with all of the plot’s gaping loopholes one must concede that there’s no dramatic conflict unless things go wrong. The Bureau is responsible for a few comic misguided blunders as they try to thwart true love.

Considering his political leanings, it’s funny seeing Matt Damon as an everyman politician running for the senate seat in New York, yet he comes off believable. A hilarious scene is seeing him in character being taunted by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. Blunt is compellingly cool as a strong-yet-leery woman with a great sense of humor. Mackie shows heartfelt vulnerability while Slattery keeps all his smarmy douche bag tendencies intact. Stamp’s supreme command of the screen (as always) conveys stoic sternness as the perfect ultimate foil for these lovebirds’ plight thumbing their collective nose at destiny.
Adjustment Bureau touches on the theme that one can obtain their dreams and become successful if guilt tripped into it and toys with theories of free will overriding destiny.
Bureau will probably please a lot of people but for its breakneck pace I found it a bit too conventional. I was hoping the ending would go another direction. This film is actually a valiant effort to stay fresh and interesting but ultimately a love story. Bureau doesn’t need much help, just a little adjusting to.

The Adjustment Bureau
Starring Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Terence Stamp, Anthony Mackie, John Slattery
Directed by George Nolfi
Rated PG-13
2 ½ stars

Nicolas Cage—STOP making movies!

Once again Cage is the odd man out
By Morgan P Salvo

Wild at Heart, Raising Arizona, Birdy… these are the films that come to mind when I think back when Nicolas Cage was good. Maybe it all started with Captains Corelli’s Mandolin when I realized maybe Cage wasn’t cut out for “mood pieces”. Now all he does is somber monotone renditions in flicks that give me a bad mood. I first noticed it in movies I thought I would like: Snake Eyes, 8mm and Gone in Sixty Seconds (it became clear that I should have left the theater in 30 seconds).
Sure he’s had some money problems but when you are one of the biggest box office stars why keep making crap after crap after crap? Going completely off the edge of “paycheck movies” there seems to always be a Nicolas Cage movie happening somewhere. There’s always one in theaters, on cable, coming soon on DVD, being shot right now or in post-production. Leaving Las Vegas gave him a well deserved academy award but after that the only movies that come to mind nearing redemption are Spike Jonze /Charlie Kaufman’s Adaptation and (just barely) Matchstick Men. There’s always an actor who works too hard, like say Michael Caine or Samuel L Jackson. They’re bound to show up in a bad movie once in a while. With Cage they are all bad. But in Caine or Jackson’s case you can see the glint in their eyes of “yes I am doing schlock.” With Cage the eyes have gone dead.
Which brings me to Drive Angry --- Angry is actually pretty good. Everyone (Burke, Fichtner and Heard) are having a field day hamming it up and being super cartoony... yep, everyone but Cage. His take on the somber monotone serious dude does not play out AT ALL with the rest of the movie. If the filmmakers had chosen anyone else (with the exception of Justin Timberlake) this would have been a four star movie. Over the top action, titillating gore, violence, sex, nudity and one scene that incorporates intercourse and gunplay at the same time…very original and very funny.
Director Patrick Lussier ( My Bloody Valentine) has taken all the things I have been bitching about that was wrong with 3D and made them inventive imaginative and visually stunning. Everything flies at you: bullets, axes, car parts, body parts, flames, blood. You name it, it whizzes right at you. There’s one scene in particular that is true genius; the windshield in the foreground with a bullet hole and a moon refection superimposed with a flashback/surreal dream sequence in the middle and Cage’s glaring face in the background exhibits pure inventive 3D art form brilliance. And like in Bloody Valentine when you’re in the diner, you feel like you are in the freaking diner. Angry is a painstakingly hilarious cheesy homage to 70’s movies with muscle cars and a satanic cult. The throwaway plot is beyond stupid but that’s what makes it so much fun, and it would be an all-out blast if buzz-kill Cage wasn’t in it sauntering around striking poses and acting like he doesn’t know where he is.
I have gone on record that every movie I see Cage in is just more proof that it’s virtually impossible for him to act anymore. My theory as to why/how Cage turned bad is that he goes into certain contraptions before going in front of a camera. One is a “personality extractor” that leaves him befuddled and forlorn. Another device is a “charisma vacuum” that sucks the life out of any feeling he might emote. Last is a “laser-beam acting-talent-eradicator”. One theory I like is that he is like Samson; once his hairline receded he lost his power. Now relying on insanely weird hair hats he pushes onward.
In the last couple of years we’ve been treated or devastated by Cages’ long list of films not to mention the hideous acting. Long ago his wacky hangdog spiel and weird take on things worked (Peggy Sue got Married or Vampire’s Kiss) and his moderately good stabs as action hero— Face Off, Con Air and The Rock seemed like obvious phases. But he never grew out of them. Now Cage churns out B-movie disasters like Bangkok Dangerous, Season of the Witch, Two National Treasure movies, Knowing, The Wicker Man, Ghost Rider and Next (possibly the worst movie ever made with his performance ranking as the worst of all time)
When all is said and done Cage had the ability and still has the face to do interesting work but his extreme lack of talent doesn’t just materialize in his choices of films but also manifests itself in his choice of acting styles.I think the main problem is we all still want to like Nicolas Cage—he just won’t let us.
But by all means see Drive Angry, Cage cannot single handedly destroy a movie this good but he tries.

Drive Angry
Starring Nicolas Cage, William Fichtner Amber Heard Billy Burke
Directed by Patrick Lussier
Rated R

3 ½ stars

Let the Eagle Soar

Somber tone sets the pace for the newest Roman saga
 by Morgan P Salvo

Well we’ve had Russell Crowe, Brad Pitt and Colin Farrell don the Ancient Roman attire as they march sandal first with sword in hand but now we add…Channing Tatum? Turns out it’s not such a bad call since there is little dialogue to screw up as he spends most of his time brooding and being really pensive. This must be survival month at the movies because beyond honor and freedom at the core of this movie is, you guessed it, survival. This is another installment of will they or won’t they?

Setting an ominous tone from the beginning we soon become aware that we are not in Hollywood mainstream gladiator territory. The Eagle, directed by Academy Award-winning Kevin MacDonald (The Last King of Scotland) re-teams with screenwriter Jeremy Brock for this historical epic set in second century Britain. In 135 A.D Roman-ruled Britain, a young Roman soldier Marcus Aquila (Channing Tatum) endeavors to honor his father's memory by finding his lost legion's golden emblem, the treasured Eagle. It’s been 15 years since the Ninth Legion went missing in the mountains of Scotland. Marcus’ father was the commander of the Ninth and by discovering what fate befell the missing 5,000 men he could restore his failing reputation. Aquila's only traveling companion is his British slave, Esca (Jamie Bell). Along the way they confront the savage tribes of the land.
Overly protective of his men (“Better angry than dead”) Marcus is careful not to make the mistakes his father made. Not knowing if Dad’s actions were of cowardice or bravery Marcus is anguished and at battle within to prove himself. There is an aura of despondency in all his actions.
Tatum wears the raging inner turmoil on his sleeve. I can’t tell if Bell looks angry to be a slave or to play one. Donald Sutherland is the kindly uncle looking like Grizzly Adams in a man-robe. Mark Strong pops up yet not as a villain. And Tahar Rahim (A Prophet) sporting a Mohawk and what looks like a muskrat skull on his head, is unrecognizable as the leader of an ashen grey covered tribe that resembles an evil Navi race. Oddly everyone speaks their own voice so we have no fake British accents flailing about.

MacDonald is not interested in gore. The brutal fight scenes are all swords swooshing, action cuts, hacking and bashing but not a trickle of blood. There’s enough sound and choreography to steer away from the missing bloodshed. The editing allows the more gruesome kills executed off camera showing the facial expressions of the killer and/or onlookers. Judging by the 15 minutes of credits it seems somebody could’ve splurged for some squibs. The stand off between the muskrat-skull wearing tribe and the Romans of the missing 5,000 (looking like a washed up rock band revival) is bittersweet in its finale… the combat scenes just seem to end with an artsy blackout and then reveal the carnage.

The realistic and somber approach to this flick makes it watchable. But the time code here is off: setting up scenes that feel unnecessary and then cutting to an end result without an explanation of how and why people got there. Shot in Hungary and Scotland with impressive scenery and really cool music I wonder why the filmmakers choose this simplistic story to bring out such impressive cinematic guns. The Eagle is an epic battle movie with a message of honor and trust too bad it ends with a highly unnecessary upbeat last scene.
I kept expecting a more Fellini or Pier Paolo Pasolini surrealistic approach to pop up yet Eagle feels more like early Werner Herzog or Terrence Malick keeping the tone gritty with a desperation and futility expressed throughout.
The Eagle
Starring Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland, Mark Strong, Tahar Rahim
Directed By Kevin McDonald
PG-13
2 ¾ stars

Throw This Gaping Hole a Lifeline

Drowning in Stupidity Sanctum Creates its own Watery Grave
By Morgan P Salvo


Two things are really not working for me anymore: “Based on true facts” and “Shot in real 3-D”. Just the mere fact that James Cameron produced Sanctum, the 3-D cinema magic should deliver. It doesn’t. I know I’m not known for being lavish with my praise, but this truly is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.
The water-soaked plot involves an underwater cave diving team on an expedition to explore New Guinea's Esa-ala Caves, one of the least accessible cave systems in the world. When a cyclone causes a flash flood to cut off their exit, they are caught in a life-or-death situation. With supplies dwindling, the divers must navigate a treacherous labyrinth to find a new escape route or die in the process.
Sounds promising right? What could have been a nice harrowing survival tale instead give us yet another father son reconciliation account through cathartic events, done poorly. Setting us up with transparencies like…Will the pouty-boy-man and gruff-strict-dad reconcile their differences? Will their survival tactics intertwine? Will they find out something they never knew about each other and themselves? Will it dig as deep as the cave they so expertly plunder through? Will the duo bond like no other has before them? Will there be painful decisions made? Will domestic squabbles take on the mentality of the father-son-oedipal complex pleasing each other till it hurts? Gimme a break.
From the first line of dialogue Sanctum feels forced and phony. The screenplay seems like it was taken from a joke book of clichés. The acting is atrocious throughout. This Aussie wannabe action yarn comes off like a lame version of The Descent without the cool monsters.
Carl Ioan Gruffudd (Reed Richards in The Fantastic Four) annoys us instantly with his take on his role, exposing a fake personality that only lame actors can convey. Richard Roxburgh(Moulin Rouge) as Frank has the juiciest role but well marinated in sea water no original lines. Dan Wyllie’s George has a moment or two, climber Victoria (Alice Parkinson) is all wisecrack and worry (never a good combo) and Rhys Wakefield’s estranged 17-year old son, Josh, is all cry baby with unbelievable mood swings that are conveyed with a lot of “NO… NO… NO’s!”
The enthusiastic talks that emanate from all the characters takes on a children’s Discovery Channel approach .Wretched dialogue to invent drama is inserted to establish a “story” that went on behind cave doors, relying heavily on all the conventions of unoriginal, over-used catch phrases stolen from countless other bad movies. If divers and underwater explorers turned first time writers Andrew Wigh, John Garvint are going to call it “based on true facts” then they owe it to us to make up something good and not this terribly generic.
The claustrophobic Sanctum’s 3-D tries it’s hardest to enthrall, as camera and character squiggle through tiny tunnels. There was no need for 3-D effect –we’re right there with them without having to see pockmarked rocks in the foreground. We’re constantly barraged with sweeping emotional stirring music to invoke the bosom to swell. The music and redundant dialogue never fills the cave’s empty space only the water pouring is plugs the gaps.
Director Alister Grierson was obviously under Producer Cameron’s thumb trying to invoke an Abbyss feel but comes off more like Cameron’s Piranha Part Two: The Spawning without the demon fish or any imaginative ideas.
Everything is so beyond predictable that this movie could make one feel down right clairvoyant. When Frank teaches Josh Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s Kubla Khan poem it just about threw me out of the theatre. My feet were poised to bolt. Believe me if this one doesn’t make number one on my worst top ten list next year it will be a miracle.
Just recently a more effective survival movie came out (127 hrs) and one guy and rock were more intense and entertaining than this entire expedition and a cave. Sanctum’s litany of bad calls is endless. Let’s just call it a fiasco and be done with it —I’d rather watch my crunchy cereal flakes get soggy than this watered down disaster. I came out of the theater gasping for fresh air after being submerged in this atrocity for 1hr and 43 minutes. Oh… what a few cool monsters at the bottom could’ve done for this flick. Sanctum is all wet

SANCTUM
Starring Richard Roxburgh, Rhys Wakefield, Ioan Gruffudd, Alice Parkinson, Dan Wyllie
Directed by Alister Grierson
¼ star


(Only because I like underwater footage)

The Devil Made Him Do It

Anthony Hopkins Hams it up amidst looming dormancy while Rites of passage be damned... this flick goes nowhere.


It’s not a good sign when an exorcist movie is rated PG-13…you know the lack of blood and cursing will not suffice for any horror aficionado especially in this overworked genre.
And such is the case with The Rite, a demonic Anthony Hopkins vehicle where once again he gets to strut his stuff by glinting his eyes, rattling off cantankerous innuendoes and sinister wise-cracks all the while under heavy demon make-up and CGI veins popping out of his skin. Think Hannibal Lecter even more possessed.
"Based on true events” from a book by Matt Baglio which documents the initiation of Reverend Gary Thomas of Los Altos, Calif. as an exorcist, this flick treads on thin demonic ice all the way. The Rite is ridiculous from start to finish. The tired old conventions that set this kind of movie up rear their ugly heads immediately with a back story of a father (Rutger Hauer)-son (Colin O’Donoghue) funeral home team that tries to be creepy but is only dull. Bad horror movie set up lines abound, like, “We live with dead people in our house, how much worse can it get?” Son Michael goes off to become a priest but has tons of misgivings and is finally sent to Rome to take an exorcism 101 class because a priest (Toby Jones) sees something in the young lad and utters the stereotypical line, “two months in Rome – how bad can that be?” Classmate Alice Braga sees something in the wannabe troubled priest and flirts with him a lot. Then the teacher Father Xavier (Ciarán Hinds) sees something meaningful and sends him off to play hooky with Father Lucas (Hopkins), a bonafide practicing exorcist and then Lucas sees something like himself in the doubting atheist. Everyone sees it but Michael himself…what a shock. So we get the requisite skepticism followed by tons of proof that the devil exists and lives inside of people. The rest of the movie is in exorcist contortion land while mentor and mentee conduct a slew of the devil-casting-out rituals.
Lucas reminds us early that there is no spewing green pea soup and there are no spinning heads. Yet we are treated to a young pregnant woman’s possession with the gratuitous neck cracking, convulsing, drooling and body twisting acrobatics we have been so exposed to in these kinds of flicks. Michael still is struggling with logic versus faith but there’s nothing like coughing up bloody nails (just a hunch but I’m guessing from Jesus’ cross) to convert an atheist non believer, but oh wait that still doesn’t do it. Until Lucas himself becomes possessed does Mike have a day of reckoning, transforming into an almighty God-accepting-avenger-priest. This movie comes full circle and forms a perfect cheese-ball.
O'Donoghue’s weird acting makes Michael’s ambivalence towards religion and then science never believable. Braga just smirks and then looks bewildered when scared. The only fun is watching Hopkins do what we all know he is capable of: hamming it up. Best scene is when he smacks a kid. Mikael Hafstrom (1408, Derailed) has a way of establishing nice images but the vague emoting, plugged in dialogue, flashbacks, jolt scare tactics and dream sequences still made it feel like a slow-paced one act play about nothing. Rite is a boringly pedestrian movie with little shocks echoing such flicks as the bad Omen sequels or the recent Unborn. It’s a shame…all that devil and nowhere original to go. Hollywood is churning out so much junk in this department that it’s safe to say anything with “the” in its title is sure to suck. I really wanted to be nice to this movie but it clearly had no intention of letting me. What gives them the rite?


The Rite
Starring Anthony Hopkins, Colin O'Donoghue, Alice Braga, Ciarán Hinds
Directed by: Mikael Hafstrom
Rated PG-13
 1 ½ stars