Rotten to the Core

Total Recall Picks and lifts form the original but goes nowhere fast, really fast

by Morgan P Salvo

Just like main hero Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) Total Recall has a ton of problems. Quaid has a boring rut of a life and wants a change...some action. This flick is all about the action but has no substance and subsequently gives a boring take on a really cool idea. But the film’s main flaw lies in the filmmakers’ public announcement that this not a remake but a version that is more true to the story by Philip K. Dick.

Dick was around to help write the original screenplay based on his short story “We can remember it for you wholesale”. NOW I have to read it because of the two diverse treatments of this tale of a factory worker bored with his life who goes to the mind-bending world of REKAL where they give you any scenario fantasy you want, to take your mind off things and perhaps entertain yourself for a few days with some awesome memories. What could possibly go wrong? Quaid goes for the double agent spy fantasy and bam before the treatment is complete something goes awry and faster than you can say Schwarzenegger he is embroiled in murder, espionage, suspense double crosses, hailing bullets and car chases. You know… spy stuff.

We all know going in that this film is all about the special effects and the mind twisting adventure that is bestowed upon our hero. The Google Earth beginning shows us what’s left of population is in Great Britain and The Colony (Australia). Plot wise Recall is the same big mess that director Paul Verhoeven gave us in 1990. Mars as fantasyland has just been replaced by “the future” where workers toil away at earth’s core which I guess is just as hot and maddening as the angry red planet.

And like the original throughout the whole movie we are supposed to be guessing if we’re viewing the fantasy or reality. The original did a nice job bouncing that concept around but perhaps because of my knowledge the old version ruined most of the fun of the twists and turns but the ending is where it really falters. A weak hint at deciphering your own interpretation is not as much fun as the blatant ridiculousness of the first. The Blade Runner looking world is cool at least. It really looked like we just got transported to the Ridley Scott masterpiece. Recall is in the red light district and an upgraded three breasted hooker is back if only for a glimpse. Where most of the problem of this movie is that while a great looking generic action flick, it retains none of the K Dick wit and insight nor the roller coaster ride of Verhoeven’s flick.

Director Len Wiseman‘s credits include Live Free or Die Hard, Underworld and Underworld: Evolution. He starts his flick at madcap pursuit and quickly falls short while the antagonist is  running and jumping acrobatically to verandas landings and rooftops to stand utterly still in stagnation only to regurgitate stereo typical formulaic drivel. The best part by far is the hover cars. I saw an impressive special on how they did that and it was far more compelling than this flick. The Fast and Furious stunt team basically did all the driving in real cars as technicians green-screened the rest out. Wiseman wisely uses Kate Beckinsale’s action movie prowess again here. And I must say, I could watch two hours of almost anything starring Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel even when they offer no skimpy outfits.

This version is much more like how they took Deathrace 2000, a superb campy hilarious colorful grade z drive-in movie classic and turned it into DEATHRACE staring Jason Statham. This Total Recall strips away the psychedelic romp in Mars that was Verhoeven’s   genius. Guilty of being too generic this flick is absolutely devoid of humor. While there are some intentional and not-so-intentional laughs throughout, like a stash of futuristic Obama money and Bryan Cranston spewing poorly written villain lines while sporting a really bad hair-hat. Even with the metal detector scene as the exact same plump woman homage from the original only serves as an in-joke for cinephiles like me. I knew I was going to miss Michael Ironside’s character, the military leader in botched pursuit of Quaid. Here he has been replaced by a slew of robotic Star War Troopers.

The main problem with making a “based on” is causing curiosity as to its intentions. Is it emulation or sacrilege? Like the recent “non-remake” of Straw Dogs if I hadn’t seen the first would I like the second? Now that two movies have posed this question the answer is easy…no I don’t.

And like the “it’s-not-a-remake” fantasy world the filmmakers live in they also steal lines straight from the first one which is a dead give away that they are blatantly ripping off the original merely  masking their attempt by high tech wizardry. Which brings me to another question; this is the supersonic future, why are they shooting bullets? Where are the damn lasers?

When all the futuristic smoke clears we are left with the memory of a decaying society and planet with a couple of heroes and hope. Meanwhile I shall return to my newly envisioned corporation called “Selektive Memory” and have all elements of Total Recall wiped clean except for hover cars Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale. 

 

Total Recall

Starring Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Bokeem Woodbine, Bryan Cranston, Jessica Biel

Directed by Len Wiseman

Rated PG-13

2 stars