Ouch That Hurts!

Run of the mill punch fest loses its footing
by Morgan P Salvo

I have a few problems with this movie. First off when you call something "haywire" we really shouldn’t wait the entire movie to find out that nobody goes haywire. I mean if you call something “”Boycott or “Slaughter” you will probably see either of those things happen. Such is not the case with Haywire, Steven Soderbergh’s newest foray into action/espionage.
I’m a fan of Soderbergh. I liked Ocean’s 11-13 and I like the guts he has to make films such as major epics (Che), low budget art movies (The Girlfriend Experience, Bubble) or the criminally overlooked Kafka. He always seems to be redefining genres and putting his intellectual slant on things, but not here. Sure there’s a cool snazzy-jazz soundtrack and exotic locales but with no real shocks Haywire is a mediocre flick that feels contrived and clichéd .The best thing about the entire movie is the stunning camera work. It’s freakin’ awesome.
The acting debut of martial arts mistress Gina Carano shows promise playing a spy-gone-rogue and victim of an elaborate double-cross. But this take on Bourne Identity with a heroine is nothing special, containing no real originality at all. She runs, she fights, she shoots, and she kicks. There are three fight scenes with the leading men in this glorified showcase for Carano’s fighting skills. The first slug-fest with boyfriend Channing Tatum comes out of nowhere and is kind of Van Damme-ish. The second (and best) is with Michael Fassbender boasting high energy punching and weapon yielding. But the final rock ‘em sock ‘em with Ewan McGregor is laughable. These actors obviously did their own stunts against the terror fighting machine that is Carano so we don’t expect much but McGregor punches like a wimp even throughout valiant editing.

The other actors are reduced to cameo characterizations and should all have been referred to as they appear: Antonio “Beardy” Banderas, Michal “Old Wrinkle Puss” Douglas, Channing “Thick Neck” Tatum –you get the picture. I look forward to seeing Carano again, fighting skills be damned.
The timing seems off in almost every scene. Anytime Haywire gets stretched for dramatic pause, the music kicks in to give it more pizzazz but that only works for a while. It’s too bad because the last thing I want to say about a Soderbergh movie is that it’s predictable but sadly Haywire is just that, especially the moronic final scene.

Soderbergh delivers Haywire somewhere between mainstream and straight to video. I suppose the main surprise is that even dealing with a very simplistic plot the director decides to spell it out for us in needless reminder flashbacks. It seems he’s done this movie before and much better with mainstream entries like Out of Sight, The Limey. Soderbergh’s highly acclaimed Traffic won him a best director Academy Award and left an indelible mark in cinematic history yet Haywire doesn’t feel clever or willing to take chances, it’s lazy. With all the talent onboard this generic movie is unforgivable. Soderbergh keeps announcing his retirement from films altogether… maybe it’s time. The only thing going haywire is my mental status as to why after this fairly dispensable chunk of film was even made.


Haywire

Staring Gina Carano, Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Channing Tatum, Michael Douglas
Directed by Steven Soderbergh
Rated R
2 ½ stars